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Remote Rehab Watchers

What really annoys the sibling, are the soaps and serials I’m hooked onto. She’s like ‘why can’t you watch something informative instead of the usual jazz’ that I (supposedly) watch. What can I say - I’m a couch potato and love the title. She waits for a while and once she notices I am away from the remote she pounces and grabs it. I was too slow for that one! I hate this situation. Makes me feel so helpless, but I have to stay put otherwise you know the drill. She’ll fight and I will retort and cold shoulder treatment for a while. The poor sucker (the remote here) will have to face the wrath.

I placate myself with the ‘anyway we have another television’ so I rush towards it and see the remote in the hands of the other sibling. I never win! But I have a new idea I will hide the remotes so that they don’t put me in this situation ever again. I wait for a suitable opportunity and hide them only feel two pairs of eyes watching me (like hawks). Why people are so sexist with the big brother option I don’t know – they haven’t seen these big sister’s! With my head hung low and admitting defeat I give them both the instruments and leave sadly. They have won.

Because of their constant surveillance, I realize that no matter what, I’m gonna be the loser! Suddenly a flashbulb - I take the batteries out. Irritatingly, they have a plan B in place – they’ve stashed away a set of batteries in case of emergency. Help! Will someone come to my rescue and hand me the remote, please? These girls have taken over and aren’t letting me get any couch time!

I have so many programs to watch and they are hurting me I cry begging Mum to help me out of the situation. My darling mom, always there for me, tries to reason with them, but they do not budge. They have made up their minds. I have to stay away from the television. It is bad for me they claim. I’m a television junkie. May even need rehab at the rate I’m going. Hey siblings I yell, perhaps you guys have been watching too much telly yourselves what with the rehab stuff you sprout! (I have to make do with the information that I get from the gossip section in the newspaper since I have been weaned off television). We have your best interests at heart they say in subdued tones. Looking at them I wonder, am I really going daft, potty or over the edge… and notice the naughtiness in the niece’s eyes. She knows something! She knows! That little bit of a thing knows something and she isn’t letting on – after all that I have done for her and the rest of the jazz! Uh uh… didn’t I hear that word earlier? I am going mad aren’t I? I wonder …

So rehab it is. No television. No entertainment. No no no…. When will there be a yes I ask meekly. They chorus when you do not exhibit withdrawal symptoms…

“Wake up… You’ve been sleeping and it’s nearly afternoon. You never sleep in late. What is the matter?” asks Mom worriedly.

“Huh?”

Looking up at mummy I carefully move my hands to the table nearby and lovingly hold the remote. I look around to see if the pests are anywhere around – it is just mum and me and I’m awake. Hug her tight, plant a kiss on her lovely cheeks and turn on the telly.

I’m back!
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Comments

Suri said…
you were in remote lalalalala land!!
March 16, 2011 at 7:24 AM
Mimi said…
and the remote wins!!!!!!!!and the couch potato chips up in spice.......
March 17, 2011 at 1:15 AM
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