Skip to main content

Well.... Hung

My friends are at it again - bugging me to tie the knot (noose I argue). I keep on about how I don’t want to get hitched. Here are some of the constant suggestions that I am forced to deal with on a daily basis and my rejoinders…

• Look at how happy we are.
Happy is as happy does (my response)

• Skepticism is not going to get you anywhere you know.
So who wants to?

• There is this friend of a friend.
Yawn!

• One bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch.
Who said anything about fruit!

• You know what we mean!
Yeah I suppose but seriously I ain’t looking.

• That’s what we are here for then!
Thanks. But there is something else we can talk about. Why the same old?

• Talking about old, you aren’t getting any younger.
So, who cares!

• Don’t you want to grow old with someone?
For him to tell me that I ain’t getting younger, huh?

• What’s with you? Don’t you know we want you to be happy?
Who said I’m not?

• Now listen carefully we aren’t giving up so don’t you dare come out with your pieces of so called ‘wisdom’.
Don’t you get it? I’m not looking,period.

• Just say you do meet someone who’s nice and all that?
I suppose…

• Ah gotcha!
What?

• The green signal – you gave it to us. Now lean back and let us hook you up with some nice guys who are single, doing well, great conversationalists, meet with your criteria and ahem well hung…
How will you know if they are uh well hung?

• Just leave it to us…
But…how?

• Trust us dude, we know what we are doing.
Very funny! But if this means that you stop this constant BS then go on. Just remember I am extremely finicky and mighty picky.

They get me to meet guys who fit the criteria - great conversationalists, well read, doing well, and all that jazz… but there is something missing.

Does this mean I am ‘hung’ up on someone else? (Their constant…)

Not! (My constant…)

The end. (I hope - sigh!)

ROTFL

Comments

Jeena said…
Hugely funny Yas

Popular posts from this blog

Can You Chill Out with Your Mom? Can You Add Her To Your Facebook List of Friends?

Whoever said that you couldn’t be friends with your Mom is probably thinking old school mother. I am certainly no teenager, neither am I in my 20’s but getting closer to dotage (uh uh). Over the years, however, I noticed that my Mom was one of the coolest Mom’s in school, college, while I worked, in between relationships and when my marital cord snapped. Let me let on how cool she was and has been through the years. When I had my first crush – she was very disappointed, and rightly so, though at the time I was angry that my secret was out. Here was her youngest with a boyfriend, and in her teens! It was hard for her to digest this since none of the older siblings went down this road. When she found out, all hell broke loose, she screamed at me, stopped me from going out, but she also stood by me. The boyfriend went away as did the friends’ circle. She never left my side, and held me while I sobbed away because he was my one true love (at the time). Ah, the throes of the first dabble...

Narrow Path

When I look at your arms on the cross stretched wide Your eyes filled with love encouraging us to drop the divide But no matter which way we trudge You love everyone without even the slightest grudge. Temptations all around enticing us with its wares How do we ignore these pangs and stop its glares? Many ridicule us because of the road we follow Help us set an example and travel the path of straight and narrow.

Will We Change?

The tears, sorrow and pain on His face we ignore Pretense with - that’s a picture, are you so sure? Nonchalance is the stand that we take When will we change and stop this act of fake? He was born to a simple innocent virgin called Mary And His foster father Joseph a poor carpenter Something that we could never ever do It is so difficult because we so love this zoo! At the chosen time when he gathered His disciples together to join Him By His example they embraced His commandment When questioned about this by the learned many He simply replied 'love one another' is the best of plenty. Joining the people, scholars and clergy at a general place He taught them simple parables many did not embrace The idea was to get Him out of the way To pave a road to riches and make their day. They plotted and planned and chose the easiest betrayer Who kissed Jesus his Master, The Savior Thirty pieces of silver was their solution The end result a conscience - a rope so in...

Beginning of the End?

A short story here... Just read and let me know what you think? I haven't concluded the story just going with the flow. The erratic nature of the power supply left the entire city in the lurch and this seemed to be a frequent occurrence. In spite of pleadings to curb global warming people paid no heed to the warnings and this brought about the swarm …. The beginning was when the entire country was wiped out in darkness and stampedes all over going on well into the night. Headlights of passing vehicles were the only source of light as generators were giving way because of the scarcity of fuel available. Every living being was being held hostage because of the “no power and no water” adage. No rainfall = less electricity = no water = no produce = malnutrition. The crops were in a mess, pets were getting crazed, and livestock was dropping dead by the minute. Drought was at an all time high. Neighboring countries pitched in, but this deluge was gaining momentum across cou...

I Was Born Female

How many times do we have to read about babies, women and senior citizens getting raped to take notice? Will there be any solution to this depravity? Here is a little something that I wrote, please let us do a rethink about the way we are with one another and actually listen when people talk. There are times when people cannot speak their mind because of a terrible incident. They are in despair and feel hopeless. With today being Women's Day everyone has something or the other to say about the so called weaker sex. But damn it, when there is nothing being done and babies are getting gang raped, what is happening? I spoke the truth No one listened I spoke sense They scoffed I reasoned They pretended I tried again I whispered the truth No one listened I spoke again They sniggered I pleaded They looked away I tried again Met the same fate I took to the streets Got publicity I was noticed I was heard What was my crime? I was born female I was raped My att...

Search This Blog