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Sex and the Single Woman

Some spiel about the life of a single woman in a metro.

“There are so many nice men around” and “Happy ever after does happen you know” is something that I keep hearing from my friends. They are bent out of shape (most are in shape really) to get me hitched. The mere thought of walking down the aisle and playing house is so darn frightening that all I want to do is run a mile. I have been trying to get them to back off but they want to have it their way. Their will power when it comes to talent is simply amazing! Whew and here I thought I had recruitment under my thumb (they sure give me a run for my money).

I hear about the well heeled guy across the globe, happening single men, a well endowed (uh uh) man in our desi shores, a foreigner who wants to marry an Indian, an equal opportunity(?) partner, a romantic with kids after a messy divorce, a widower, the list is endless. I listen. I receive pictures. Some have written, called even and asked me out. But what can I say – I have commitment issues!

With the first time being lovesick and in a state of denial, the thought of a ring on my finger at this point feels like a noose. So I let on ever so gently with the gang to let me be, I kinda like my life this way. Celibacy has its charms you know. In shock they pledge an allegiance of eradicating this endorsement of mine with the ‘come on you still have it’ look! Who doesn’t I ask? But no one obliges. So I bring it on with “Are you guys worried that I may latch on to your spouses or what?"

“No way” they retort – “then what is your problem” I say?

The “pitfalls of a sexless life brings about these problems”

Weight gain
Stress
Bad sleep patterns (thought this happens when coitus occurs I ask – and receive a dirty look)
Hormonal imbalance
Hair loss (new one this)

All in all – I think they have been reading my blog. Good friends these – but way off base. Yeah sex is wonderful and all that, but I have to be in the mood I tell them. Darn it girl get in the mood is what they spew. So I have decided to take their advice. Or should I?

Celibacy has its charms after all…

Can wax my legs when I want
No giving into primal urges from the spouse
All the ‘facts’ mentioned above are myths – not proven
Keep my body to myself clean and pure
When I put on weight can just pull in the stomach not a soul will notice (seriously?)
Answerable to no one but myself
Also third base may result in an unwanted pregnancy

They don’t go for this. Instead they sit among themselves and make notes. This is what they tell me :

“The reason why you are so crabby: no amorous activities!”

“But but but…. I am not ….”

“See you are doing it again!”

“What?”

“Getting hot and bothered! Crabby!”

Instead of walking into the trap they lay out for me I bow down gracefully and hope that I manage to get a ticket and go on that long overdue holiday. Better keep mum about my plans though……

XoXo

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